Shattered
by Minerva-Severus-Dumbledor
Summary: Complete When everyone turns from Harry can he handle the stress? Who will save him.. From himself. SLASH! RR


TITLE: Shattered  


AUTHOR: Minerva  


EMAIL: mctamom@aol.com  


PAIRING: HP/SS  


RATING: R/NC-17  


FEEDBACK: Please!!

DISCLAIMER: Belongs to JKR. No profit. No infringement etc.  


SUMMARY: When everyone turns from harry can he handle the stress? Who will save him.. From himself  


CATEGORY: Dark / Angst / Drama / First Time / Hurt-Comfort / Non-Consensual  


NOTES: I hope everyone likes this, please let me know!!!

CHALLENGE: 10,000 word challenge. Challenge numbers: 89. Snape is actually gay, but his dealings with the Death Eaters have left him quite cold to sex. But what about love? (Kira) 137. While going through a box of his parents things, Harry finds a contract where he was betrothed to Snape as an infant. (ProfSnapeFan) 141. Harry gets raped by Ron, Neville, and Seamus for being gay. Severus catches them after the violation. When Harry commits suicide, Severus finds him two minutes too late. He goes to Albus for a time-turner and is determined to save The Boy Who Lived once again. (Bella Ireland)  


BETA: diagonalist  


ARCHIVING: Dawn-to-Dusk. Anywhere else ask after release date!!

  
  


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He wasn't expecting them to take it that bad. But they had. Ron had turned his back on his best friend of six and a half years. He had just come short of hexing him. Ron had even called him every name in the book. Hermione hadn't taken it well either. She joined Ron, just not as violently, and she had turned on him as well. One might ask what was so horrible that one's best friends of so many years would turn their backs on him for good. At the end of his sixth year had told his best friends that he was gay. He had told them on the way home on the train.   
  
Harry Potter was now sitting in a compartment by himself. He sat staring out the window lost in his thoughts. He'd gotten mail only from his godfather Sirius. He had known going into telling Ron and Hermione that gay's were viewed as an OK crowd. Well, that's OK as long as you aren't Harry The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice Potter. That's right, I said twice. Three weeks before the end of sixth year Harry had defeated the slimy snake-man Voldemort, or originally known as Tom Riddle, half-blood.  
  
Harry was currently thinking about what he'd found out over the summer. It was shocking and he couldn't wait to confront Professor Snape about the information he'd found. He'd gotten permission from Dumbledore and Sirius to stay at the Leaky Cauldron for the last week of the summer holidays. Harry wasn't staying with Sirius because he'd had too much business to take care of after having his name cleared. There were still some Death Eaters out there so Harry still needed the protection from the wards around the Dursley's home.  
  
After Harry had settled into his room at the Leaky Cauldron, he'd gone down to Gringott's to get some money to get his school supplies for the following year. Upon asking for an escort to his vault, he was handed another key and documents from his parents releasing the 'Potter Family Vault' to him when he turned seventeen. Shrugging, he'd asked to be taken there first instead of the other vault.  
  
When he got into the new vault, well new to him anyway, he saw a lot more money, approximately five times as much as what was in his vault. There were also a few boxes. One was marked 'Important Documents' Harry grabbed this one and had the goblin shrink it with a timed shrinking spell and put it in his pocket. He then grabbed one hundred galleons from the vault and left. Not needing to go to his vault now he left the bank and did his shopping. Harry had gotten everything and was sitting quietly in his room when the box enlarged itself. Harry then opened it and found a plethora of documents. His parents marriage certificate, his birth certificate, his parents copy of their will, and one other type of document he'd never seen before. It was a betrothal agreement.  
  
Harry had been shocked, he was betrothed to be married and never knew it. Upon digging deeper into the document he'd discovered that his betrothed was none other then Hogwarts own Potion's master, Severus Snape. It had been dated and signed the day after his birth. He'd taken it to Gringott's and had it verified, it was an official and magically binding contract. Harry couldn't get out of it, on his eighteenth birthday, he'd have to marry Severus Snape, and no one had thought to tell him about this. Harry had told no one he found this document, and here he sat on the train back to school for his seventh and final year.  
  
Harry wanted to yell and scream at the cold-hearted bastard he'd have to marry and never told him anything, not to mention the way he'd been treated. It wasn't fair. But then again, this is Harry Potter we are talking about and nothing in his life was fair. Harry brooded the whole trip, alone in his compartment.  
  
Everyone got up to Hogwarts just fine and the sorting went without a hitch. Harry had sat at the end of the Gryffindor table, alone. Harry watched as the Potions master made his leave for the evening and followed him. Luckily for Harry the man went to his office. Harry held back making sure he had the documents in his pocket before going up to the door and knocking on it. He was bid to enter from the other side and went in.  
  
Harry had a confident air about him even though he was nervous. He coolly met Snape's glare with one of his own.  
  
"What, Mr. Potter, are you doing here on the first night back, surely you've not gotten yourself detention already?" Raising an eyebrow daring Harry to argue.  
  
"Well, Professor," Harry stressed the word showing his discontent with the man before him. "I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me." Harry sneered at his professor; he knew he'd have him by the balls in a few minutes.  
  
"Well, you can forget about asking for help with your summer homework it should already be done. You're not in my house, so what else could it possibly be, Mr. Potter, I am a busy man and I have no time for nonsense." Snape snapped at Harry, getting really annoyed that the young Gryffindor had intruded on his time in his office.  
  
Harry pulled the contract out of his pocket unfurled it and placed it on the Potions master's desk. He gave the professor a few minutes to register what it was and watched the man as he paled in realization of what was in front of him.  
  
"I have a few questions about this if you don't mind Severus," Harry spat the man's given name at him. "How could no one tell me about this? What were you just going to spring it on me out of the blue when I turned eighteen next summer?" Harry was on the verge of yelling but remained somewhat calm. There was no doubt in Severus' mind that Harry was livid with the whole situation. Severus closed his eyes pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed very heavily.  
  
"Sit down Harry, I think we need to talk," Severus said without one ounce of spite in his voice. This was serious and long overdue. Harry sat but his face was still filled with anger. "I know I should have told you sooner, but Dumbledore forbade me to do so. I am sorry I never told you and you had to find out this way." Harry could tell the man was sincere but that still didn't diminish his anger at the moment.

"Well firstly _Professor_, Dumbledore has no say in this, I don't give a damn what he told you to do or forbade you to do. The right thing would have been to tell me first thing when I got to Hogwarts." Harry spat out the full rant. "How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Hell I could have even managed if you'd decided it was best for me to live away from the Dursley's. But NOOOO everyone has say in my life but me. Well I can tell you right now THAT is going to change. I don't give a damn what Dumbledore says, and I don't give a damn what you say. This contract as far as I am concerned is null and void. I will NOT be forced to spend my life with someone who has made it a point to show how much they hate me from the very moment he laid eyes on me." Harry was steaming. He'd gotten up from his chair and started pacing like a caged animal while he ranted to the potion's professor. Severus' heart sank as Harry ranted. Severus didn't hate the boy, not at all, in fact he thought he was a wonderful young man, and he would admit it but only under Vertiaserum. They'd worked closely together with the Order of the Phoenix, and had at least what appeared to be a grudging respect for the other.

"Harry," Severus started. "I by no means hate you. I know you think I do but you also know I had a reputation to keep intact. I needed to appear to hate you because of that position I held in Voldemort's circle, I couldn't risk the possibility of being called a traitor among the Death Eater's, it was just too risky." Severus tried to quell Harry's anger but only served to make it greater.

"Oh, so you can't trust 'The-Boy-Who-Lived' enough to pull me aside and say, "Look this is the situation." That's just fucking lovely. You know that? Just lovely!" With that Harry stormed out of the room and up to the Tower. Little did he know that he'd have someone waiting for him when he got back to the dorms.

When Harry entered the Tower he was startled out of his thoughts by a whispered 'Stupefy;' the next thing he knew he was in the dorms tied to his bed. He tried to jerk his arms out of the bonds but his attempts were fruitless. He finally looked up and saw Ron, Seamus and a halfway apologetic looking Neville standing over him. He then realized he was also as naked as the day he was born. 'Oh, this does not bode well,' thought the hero of the Wizarding World.

"Umm, Ron," Harry spoke, with fear evident in his voice, he knew this wasn't going to be pretty. "What's going on? What are you doing?" Harry's eyes darted around the room to see if there was any way he might be able to escape. Seeing none he thought it was time to start closing down his mind and try and hide his sanity. Being stripped and tied to a bed with three very angry people was not a good thing. He remembered the one time Uncle Vernon had come home extremely drunk and tried to rape him. He was grateful that the inebriated fool couldn't get it up and was therefore spared the humiliation of that little episode, but seeing the situation as it currently stood he didn't think he'd be as lucky with these three.

Harry had gotten his physical sensors blocked off before anyone touched him, which was good. But he still heard what they were saying and that hurt him more then anything.

"You fucking poof, I can't believe all this time I've been living with a fucking queer." Ron snarled dangerously as he rammed himself into Harry without preparation. "Oh yeah so tight you fucking whore. Good little poof whore, taking it without a sound." Harry hadn't even winced when he heard Ron grunting. Ron didn't speak again until he was done. "You fucking whore, we don't want you in here you shit packing cock-sucker." Ron had dismounted Harry and punched him in the jaw. Harry glared at him and spit blood into the fiery redhead's face which enraged him even more. Seamus held Ron back from doing anything worse to the raven hair Gryffindor.

"No, Ron, if you do more then Neville and I won't get turns at the sorry bastard." Seamus spat at Ron. Seamus then glared at Harry. "You know it's disgusting that you're queer." Seamus sneered in his heavy Irish accent. Ron was cleaning himself up without the use of spells and swearing and cussing at Harry when Severus walked into the room. He needed to finish the conversation him and Harry had started about the betrothal agreement earlier. What Severus saw as he watched for mere seconds while Seamus was getting on top of Harry was that Harry was bleeding in several different places and noticed that Harry's wrists were raw from fighting his bonds. Severus saw a small pool of blood, and what he assumed to be semen, collected on the bed right at Harry's crotch. Seamus was just trying to mount Harry when that silky smooth voice washed over all of them. For three of the four it was heard and caused extreme fear, for the fourth though it brought up anger and embarrassment at being caught in such position, even if he hadn't been there willingly. To say the Potion's master was incensed would be the understatement of the year. Severus was beyond livid or any other emotion related to such. No one deserved this sort of treatment. This was why he was not an intimate person on any level. This was the reason he'd locked his emotions away from the rest of the world. It pulled at Severus' heart to see the boy in such a state.

"What in Merlin's name is going on here? Get away from him this instant" The voice hardly more then a normal tone but edged with an unmistakable steel that promised pain to just about all in the room. Not waiting for a response Severus fired off three rapid succession 'Petrificus Totalis' spells, petrifying Seamus, Neville and Ron. Severus quickly made his way to the bed and rid Harry of his bonds. Severus' body language changed dramatically once he had Harry free from his bonds and covered him with his robes which he had quickly shed. He had noticed Harry's on the floor torn to shreds. "Are you all right Harry?" Severus spoke softly to the young man before him. Harry had been shivering in shock and embarrassment and anger.

"Well, I'd imagine I'd answer if I thought you really cared but since you don't..." Harry wrapped the robes tighter around his body and darted from the room and toward the Headmaster's office.

By the time Harry had arrived at the Headmaster's office he was in tears. His supposed best friend of six years had not only turned his back on him, but betrayed him in the most despicable way. He had taken Harry's virginity. He hadn't spoken the password even though he'd known it; he simply looked at the gargoyle in thought.

The Dursley's were never really physically hard on Harry, a smack here, foul language constantly and let's not forget the degrading comments. Harry had heard so much as a child about him being a freak and a nuisance that he now believed it, and then everything Ron had done at the end of last year and then what had happened tonight had just cemented everything that the Dursley's had ever told him while he was growing up.

Harry made up his mind, and he turned from the Headmaster's office and headed away from it. He took the long twisting and turning halls to the old room on the third floor that Fluffy was in, in Harry's first year. Harry ran his hands dazedly along the walls in the room reverently. In a way Harry was saying a good-bye to the castle. He had a plan, and since no one cared about him he was going to kill himself. His debt had been paid and yet here people were turning on him again for his sexual orientation. It was just easier this way, no more pain and no more hiding anything from anyone.

Dumbledore didn't even give him a break. He'd begged the old man for a reprieve from the Dursley's since Voldemort was dead and that never happened. Harry was sent back to the Dursley's and their neglectful ways even though he'd told the Headmaster of his mistreatment. The world it seemed was stacked against him, he wanted, no needed, to leave this world and hoped the next one was better. Harry pulled out his wand and found a piece of a broken chair in the corner of the room. He transfigured it into a knife. Harry looked at it, lost in a world all his own. He then came back to this reality and stared at the knife with something akin to awe. This was his ticket out of this world.

Harry cut the sleeves off the robes with the knife he then ran the blade lightly up and down his arm, reveling in the cool crisp feeling of the metal on his bare flesh. By this time Harry's eyes were glazed over; he was barely in control of his movements. The strokes with the knife increased in pressure until he gasped when the knife penetrated the skin. Harry looked down at the blood in morbid fascination. He was mentally beyond feeling any pain. Harry felt a pull to do something so he got up from the floor where he'd sat down and walked to the wall. He drew his index finger through the blood that had pooled at the wound. He began to write words on the wall. He was feeling very disconnected; like he was already leaving this world. He'd made his peace in this life it was time to go. He continued to stroke letters onto the wall and didn't check over it until he was done.

Once he'd finished Harry stepped back to admire his work. Only then did he actually know what it said. He smiled sardonically at himself as he read what he'd actually written. There written on the wall in his own blood was 'The-Boy-Who-Only-Wanted-Love'. Harry looked at it lovingly and ran his clean hand under it looking quite proud of what he'd accomplished. That short title was all he was summed up quite nicely.

Harry backed away from the wall and sat in the middle of the room. Harry then started to draw imaginary designs with the knife on his arm. He applied more pressure with each pass. Soon his arm was bleeding profusely. Harry's eyes never left what he'd written on the wall he had no idea that he'd worked himself down to the bone of his arm he was so concentrated on what was on the wall. All the skin and flesh of his arm was totally mangled, if anyone were to enter the room now and try and save him he'd lose his arm for certain. No one came, no one cared, this yet again only cemented the fact that no one cared for Harry now that Voldemort was gone.

Harry, feeling like things weren't moving quickly enough, took off the robes where he sat, they pooled around his waist. Harry moved the knife to do the imaginary designs on his chest instead of his arm. They started out lightly and then grew in pressure. Harry gasped as the blade bit into his skin. The blood began to flow from his chest as it did from his arm. As the life flowed out of Harry, a small smile played upon his lips. He was ready to leave. He really needed to leave. Harry felt his world fading out and slowly slumped forward and slipped from this realm. 

Across the castle while all this was happening Severus was frantic. He'd delivered the boys to Albus but now had to find Harry. Albus gave his guarantee that the boys would be dealt with properly. While Dumbledore contacted the Ministry, Severus searched the castle for Harry, he'd be needed for prosecuting the three boys Severus had caught. Even though what Severus had witnessed was enough to put the boys away for a long time they'd have a better chance at conviction with Harry as a witness. Severus made his way through the halls and as he passed the doorway for the room Fluffy was once held he felt a shiver run through his body. Something was not right in that room. Severus being an ex-spy knew that he should check it out, but he also had a feeling that he really didn't want to know what was in that particular room.

When Severus opened the door and entered the room he was blasted with the pungent smell of human blood, human blood that was laced with magic. 'A wizard,' Severus thought to himself in the dark room. Severus pulled out his wand and cast a lumos spell in the dark room. What he saw made him reel back and almost slam himself into the wall behind him. There curled on the floor in the middle of the room was a body with a shock of raven black hair. Severus had a gut feeling it was Harry but wasn't going to make assumptions. He looked around the room as he hastily made his way to the body he'd seen, when the writing on the wall caught his attention. With that he knew it was Harry. He quickened his pace to the body and dropped to his knees swiftly and in an undignified manner. He grabbed Harry's shoulder roughly and pulled him up. What he saw drew a choked sob from the normally strictly controlled man. Harry Potter's vibrant green eyes were cold and dead, empty.

Severus gathered the dead boy into his arms and quickly made his way to Dumbledore's office. Not bothering knocking Severus kicked the door open savagely, a primal look on his face, one that spoke volumes of his own self-hatred for how the boy had taken his own life because he thought no one loved him. A single tear escaped his eye as he gently laid Harry down on Albus' desk; the old man's normally twinkling eyes almost as dead as the green-eyed boy in front of him.

"Well Severus looks like we have a conundrum here. I have two options for you and you must choose. You know right here and now only you can save him if you choose. I can give you a time-turner and you can save him or we can leave it as it is. If I give you the time-turner, you can only go back one hour. The ministry has approved it for one hour only. So you can't stop the rape, only his suicide attempt. I know of the betrothal and I do believe you would be good for him." Albus reached into his desk and withdrew the time-turner and placed it on Harry's mutilated body. "If you choose the time-turner, you will be responsible for him. I will give you a leave of absence and Poppy and I can take turns teaching your classes until I find someone else to cover for you on a more semi-permanent basis. We can discuss it later at any rate, but time is wasting." 

Severus wasted no time in getting the time-turner off of Harry and twisting it once and disappeared. Albus could deal with the body. It wouldn't be there long anyway. Albus cast a mobilicorpus on Harry's remains and moved them to a couch in the old Order meeting room. Albus bent down and kissed Harry's forehead and spoke softly to the dead young man.

"I'm sorry you feel none of us care Harry, I know now I was wrong in ever sending you to the Dursley's, I hope when the time comes you can forgive me." Albus looked down sadly at the young man before him before his shoulder's slumped in defeat, he had a lot to make up to the young man it turned out he'd neglected as much as the Dursley's had abused the poor boy. Albus left the room and waited to be contacted by Severus.

Severus had gone back an hour. He had just snuck by himself getting the three criminals to Dumbledore's office. He beat a quick trail to the room he'd found Harry in. When he entered as silently as he could, he noticed tears rolling in a steady stream rolling down Harry's cheeks. But he'd only done the initial cut and was just starting to write on the wall. Severus knew he'd made it in time this time; he'd make sure to make it count. Severus slowly went up to Harry making some noise so to not startle Harry too much. When he spoke, it was in a firm but caring tone, one Harry had never heard before.

"Harry. I need you to stop." The tone was caressing Harry; he'd wanted someone to find him. He knew that now.

"Why?" Harry's voice was weak and broken. "Why should I stop doing what everyone wants anyway? No one cares about poor Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived. He's just a little freak that no one could ever possibly love let alone like. Look at Ron and Hermione, proves this, I don't belong in this world anymore. I did what people wanted and yet I still don't have peace. Please Professor just let me go." Harry's voice was so flat that it broke Severus' heart and if James and Lily had been there they'd be so heartbroken over their son.

"Harry that's not true, I know you don't believe that it isn't, but it is. I do care about you. I would have never agreed to the betrothal if I hadn't, Albus cares as well. Sirius loves you like his own son Harry; surely you don't want to hurt him by going through with this?" Severus said with a pleading tone in his voice, he needed Harry to believe him at the moment. Severus had this one shot to get through to Harry to save the young man's life. "Please Harry, come talk with me down in my rooms. I promise if we can't compromise with this then I will help you with a better and quicker way, I promise you on your mother and father's souls that I will help you if you still want death after we have a long talk." Harry looked the man over trying to size him up. After a few moments of silence Severus held out his hand and Harry unsteadily took it.

Once Severus had Harry's hand, he pulled the younger wizard into an almost bone crushing hug. "Don't you ever think people don't care about you Harry. I am never going to let you go if I can help it, I will help you through this. We will get through this and we'll do it together." Harry just stared through half cloudy eyes wondering where all this was coming from. Severus gently picked Harry up and carried him down to his chambers. The journey was quiet but gave Harry time to try and assess the situation.

"Harry, I don't think you're in any condition to have that talk right now, how about if I give you a dreamless sleep potion then tomorrow we spend the day talking over everything? Is that all right?" Severus' voice was very soft and gentle while he tried to hold Harry to reality. Harry nodded that he would indeed take the potion from the Potion's master. Severus led Harry through the sitting room into his bedroom. Harry didn't bother looking around. He didn't figure he'd ever see it again anyway. Severus pulled out one of his own nightshirts and helped Harry into the en suite bathroom to clean up after his ordeal with Weasley, Finnegan and Longbottom earlier. Severus wasn't about to bring that up. Severus had Harry sit down on the toilet while he got a bath ready for the tormented young man that was with him. Severus ran the bath and got various things out for Harry to take, one being a healing potion and also the dreamless sleep potion. He left the dreamless sleep on the counter. He also pulled out a muscle relaxant cream. Severus then shut off the water and helped Harry strip off the robes he'd put on the boy earlier that evening. Harry let him, he was just there in body, his mind was elsewhere.

Once Severus had Harry in the bath, he cleaned him well and then he began to apply the muscle relaxing cream by rubbing it into Harry's back to help soothe the young man. Severus felt Harry's muscles relax under the ministrations of the Potions master. Severus let Harry relax in the warm water for a while before helping out a more compliant boy; which was better then the lethargic Harry he'd settled into the tub earlier. Severus dried Harry off while Harry fidgeted which seemed to be a promising improvement from before the bath. After Harry was dried off, Severus put him in the night shirt he'd gotten out for Harry. Grabbing the vial of dreamless sleep potion Harry and Severus made their way back into the bedroom. Severus turned down the bed and got Harry to sit on it. Harry stiffened, he realized this was Snape's bed, if it was Snape's then where would the man sleep?

"Ummm, Professor?" Harry had finally spoken since before they left the room where Harry had planned to kill himself. Severus looked expectantly at the young man before him, for Harry to continue. "If I'm sleeping here where are you sleeping?" Harry asked quite frightened of the answer. Severus smiled at the question, if Harry was concerned for others' well-being then there was hope for him to recover yet.

"Well" Severus started with a gentle voice. "I am going to be sleeping next to you, as you can clearly see the bed is more then large enough for both of us. I will sleep above the covers under a quilt so I won't get cold, while you sleep on this side under the covers. Is that amenable to you?" Harry looked thoughtfully at his professor. Then finally nodded.

"You don't mind that I am in your bed?" Harry asked timidly. 

"Why would I mind you being in my bed when I am the one who brought you here to start with, Mr. Potter?" Severus said with amusement in his eyes and a slight edge to his voice but not enough to worry Harry about where he stood with the man currently.

"If you're sure then it's all right with me, but only if you're sure," Harry stressed.

"I'm positive Harry, there is no place I'd rather you be, then here with me," Severus said softly to the young man who was still obviously frightened. "Now, take your dreamless sleep and we'll talk tomorrow. I've as much time as we need, I am on a leave of absence, if you like we can even go to my Manor for a while. I will not leave your side until you're well, Harry, I promise you that and if that takes years then so be it." Severus promised and handed Harry the vial of dreamless sleep and Harry eyed his professor for a moment before tipping back the potion. Settling into the bed and pulling the covers up to his chin. Harry looked the professor in the eyes.

"Thank you, Professor Snape." Harry's voice was thick with emotion. Severus smiled at the Gryffindor and bid the young man goodnight with a squeeze of his shoulder. Harry drifted off into a dreamless sleep as Severus exited the room. 

Severus entered the sitting room and fire-called Albus to let him know Harry was safe and sound in his quarters and sleeping peacefully. He explained about how he wanted to take Harry to the Manor to get away from everything for a while and Albus agreed to it. Providing Severus did all the course work with Harry; he didn't want the lad falling more behind then he already was. Severus agreed and then discussed the trial date which would be in one week's time. Harry had to be there for that. Severus and Albus then ended their conversation and Severus went and took a shower and joined Harry on the bed. Severus joined Harry in sleep, but unlike Harry's, Severus' was full of troubled dreams of the boy who lay next to him.

When Harry began to pull back into the realm of the conscious late the following morning, he realized right away he didn't know where he was. He stiffened when the flashbacks of last night railroaded his mind. A single tear escaped his eye and slowly tracked down to his temple and onto the pillow that lay beneath him. He didn't know the Potions master had seen it. Harry began to stretch his still somewhat relaxed muscles. He couldn't remember a time he'd slept so well and felt so physically well. He knew he wasn't well mentally. Warm, he felt warm and that was the best feeling in the world. When he'd finished his best imitation of a cat stretching, he realized someone was chuckling at him. Cracking his eyes open to see who had the nerve to laugh at him, he saw his professor sitting in a chair watching him.

Harry sighed deeply. "Thank you, for letting me stay here last night, I really appreciate it," he spoke softly and Severus just waved it off. Severus was only too happy to help the young man. The young man that would be his husband in less then a year. They were supposed to wed on Harry's eighteenth birthday, if not sooner then that. Severus had liked Harry even though he'd never let the boy know it. Harry was smart without being stuck-up like Hermione was. He was logical, just not as strategically inclined as Ron, Severus frowned when he'd thought of the red-haired boy and what he'd done to Harry. Harry was also very cunning. What he had thought was fool-heartedness turned out to be cunning. Harry had thought out everything before he'd don it. It was simply the manner in which Severus saw before; he'd thought Harry was being reckless but wasn't. He'd found out later that Harry had tried to warn Dumbledore that someone was after the stone in the first year. Maybe things in his second year would have turned out differently if Harry had told Albus of the voice he'd heard; the old man would never believe his savior to make-up such things. Severus liked the boy all right, he could learn to love him given time. Well, he did love Harry but he was by no means in love with him. Harry had managed to wittle away some of the steel walls the Potion's professor had built around his heart.

Severus Snape, Potions master and Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Severus scoffed at that title. He'd hated teaching these brats, but while Voldemort was out and about he'd needed a shelter and a cover. He would talk to Albus later in the year. Although he did appreciate everything the old codger had done for him it was time for him to move on and become a full-time potions master. That was what he'd initially wanted in the first place. Severus actually needed a place to hide after he'd been initiated into the Death Eaters. Severus was turned off sexually by all the things that he'd seen other Death Eaters do with such a passion and liking that it quite truthfully scared him to pieces.

"Now Harry, why don't you get dressed? I had a house-elf bring your trunk down early this morning. I'll meet you in the sitting room when you're done." Severus then stood gracefully and exited the room. Harry sat on the bed for a few minutes stunned. He finally rose, went to his trunk and pulled out a school uniform. He'd be damned if Snape saw the clothes he'd gotten from his beached whale of a cousin. Harry had just pulled on socks, trousers and the shirt, he figured he wasn't going to class he could get away without the tie and vest and robes. Harry carried his shoes with him into the other room. Spotting a chair by the fireplace Harry sat down and put his shoes on while the older Slytherin watched.

Severus watched as Harry tied his laces trying to figure the boy out. He recognized in an instant the boy was wearing his school uniform clothes. Setting his mind into spy mode, he wanted to know why this was. Surely the boy had other clothes, the Muggles wouldn't let him go without would they? His curiosity peaked, he steeled himself and asked the dreaded question.

"Harry, you're not going to class for a while, why are you wearing your uniform?" Severus questioned in a gentle voice that shocked not only himself, but, by the look on Harry's face, it paralyzed the boy as well. Harry shook himself free from his temporary stupor and lowered his gaze to the floor. He hadn't wanted to answer that question.

"It's all I have that's presentable sir," Harry replied weakly. Severus looked oddly at the young man before him.

"Surely you have clothes other than your uniforms?" Harry shook his head to the negative. "Well why ever not Harry? Surely the Dursley's can't have treated you that poorly?" Severus was shocked by the glare of anger he received from Harry

"They do, and the Headmaster knows they do and didn't help me out at all. I had to keep going back to those people year after year to be tormented on a daily basis and be given hand-me-down clothes from my cousin who is about ten times larger than I am." Harry stood and stormed into the bedroom and grabbed his trunk and hauled it into the sitting room. "Please feel free to try and find something decent other than my school uniforms." Harry then plopped back into his previous seat waving expectantly for Snape to find something else for him to wear.

Severus started to go through the clothes and was disheartened to find that nothing was even close to acceptable to wear other then his school uniforms. "But," was all he could get out. Harry held up his hand to stop the man from speaking.

"If the Dursley's knew I had money they would take it from me; clothes are a big clue that someone has money. They think all my supplies are given to me by the school; I'm not about to let them think differently on that matter, I like my money right where it is. Bad enough I had to be the freak of the family," Harry finished softly, almost too soft for the man to hear but he'd detected it. More things clicked into place with that statement.

"Harry, if I asked you to go to my Manor with me would you come?" Harry looked at him with something close to hope in his eyes.

"If it means I never have to go to the Dursley's again I'd go anywhere with anyone. But to answer your question, yes, I'll go to your Manor, but what about my school work?" Harry wasn't really concerned with his school work but more along the lines of what he would be doing. "And don't you have to teach?" Severus actually smiled at the boy. Harry's jaw dropped, when he smiled he looked younger then when he scowled, he almost looked appealing.

"To be honest with you Harry, I was going to teach until Voldemort was killed or until you graduated. I don't need the salary from teaching. I have more then enough from my inheritance as well as making more then enough through contracts from being a Potions master." Severus shrugged. "Dumbledore is willing to make allowances for you considering the situation and everything you've been through, I can be your teacher for all subjects and you can test through Albus, he'll come give you your N.E.W.T.'s when you're ready." Severus looked at Harry with pleading eyes. He had a gut feeling that both of them needed this. "Please Harry, let me help you, let me show you how good life can be, I'll take care of you." Harry looked at Severus with awe. 

'This can't be happening, but this greasy git is offering me a place to stay.' Harry continued to look at the man. "Are you sure you want me there? I mean I'd just be a burden and in the way," Harry started to ramble. Severus raised an eyebrow at him.

"Harry if I didn't want you there I wouldn't have asked. Now are you going to agree to come with me or are we stuck in these dark dank dungeons?" Severus said with amusement evident in his voice.

"All right, but only if you're sure," Harry finally relented.

"Very well, get your things together, after breakfast we'll take a trip to Diagon Alley and get you some real clothes. I think you deserve them," Severus said in a guarded voice. "I'll put them on my account and when we have a little more free time you can pay me back if you feel it is necessary." Severus said to placate the boy's pride. He knew Harry had his own money, and just about as much as Severus had. Harry did after all have his family vaults open to him now, he'd known all along the vault Harry had been using in previous years had been Harry's alone, set up upon his birth. 

Snape looked over the young man before him. He'd grown into quite a handsome looking lad if Severus had to admit it to anyone, which he would not. Harry was petite, standing about five feet seven to Severus' six foot one. Severus decided he'd try some potions if Harry didn't mind, to see if he could get Harry a little taller. Harry was the smallest in his year, even the girls had all grown bigger then Harry was. He never complained though, it wasn't in him to complain, just take everything as well as he could and move on. That was most of his problem in a nutshell, he hadn't ever thought to share his feelings with anyone else, especially after the blow up with most of Gryffindor turning their backs on Harry, again.

"All right, sir," Harry responded, giving into the professor, knowing he'd give in anyway in the end.

"Good, Harry, are you ready to go now?" Having finished his breakfast, Harry nodded, walked over to his trunk and closed it and shrunk it, and then placed it in his pocket. Severus didn't have to pack; he'd just send one of his house-elves to get whatever he needed, which would really be nothing. He was going to hang-up his hat to teaching. He'd have a meeting with Albus in about a week or so to discuss Harry's progress as well as hand in his resignation. Together they left the dungeons and walked in silence until they got to the gates.

Severus bought Harry ten days worth of casual clothes. Not that he'd really needed to buy that many for Harry but he didn't want Harry to have to wear the same thing for days on end. Harry was content but he'd always seemed content with whatever he'd gotten. When asked, Harry would talk about the Dursley's and how he had been raised by them, things that had happened. Severus was enraged by how the boy had been treated. Savior or not, no one deserved to be treated that way by anyone, let alone a wizard treated that way by muggles. Severus was somewhat in agreement with Voldemort, he'd believed that wizards were superior to muggle, most wizards felt that way in fact. But feeling superior didn't mean he disliked them. They definitely had their uses and were a point of interest to most pureblood families that had never really been exposed to muggles. That was why Arthur Weasley was always so fascinated by them.

Over the next few weeks they both got to know each other fairly well. Harry no longer wanted to die as badly as before, he was still depressed but he was getting better. Severus had relayed many of his own experiences to Harry to try and get Harry to see that he wasn't the only one that had excessively bad things happen to him. Harry slowly recovered. 

Severus and Harry grew closer together through Harry's studies. Harry progressed quickly and did really well in Transfiguration, Charms and surprisingly Potions. Harry was no longer taking Divination, which also helped him with his depression. Harry had confided that Trelawney had predicted his death numerous times in each and every class. Harry's worst grade came from History, but even his worst grade was a 90 percent, so even though it was his worst subject he'd held a very respectable grade. His top classes, he was holding a 99 percent average, Defense class he was holding steady at 95 percent the same grade held in Herbology as well.

Dumbledore had made numerous visits and was very impressed with Harry's grades and his improvement. Dumbledore had informed him that Harry was top of his grade, beating even Hermione Granger much to Harry's astonishment, and Severus let a smug smile dominate his face at the news.

One evening about three months into this new arrangement Harry had finally wanted to know why he'd been betrothed and why to Severus, so he'd asked him point blank. Severus was expecting the question and was ready to tell the whole story to Harry, he felt he had the right to know; since his parents weren't there to tell him it was up to Severus.

"Well, for starters, your father and I never hated each other." Harry looked shocked at this news. "Now Black and I truly do dislike each other, but not your father and I. We weren't best friends like he and Black, but we got on all right. Your mother tutored me in Charms for a couple of years, so I got to know her pretty well as well." Severus then sighed, this was the part of the story he really didn't want to tell but felt he had no choice. "I really had no choice in becoming a Death Eater. My father forced me to become one. But I spoke with Albus the year before my initiation and he suggested I spy. But I also needed someone to talk too about it as well, so he enlisted the help of your parents." Severus took a deep breath, voice calm. It was just a normal conversational tone. He summoned a house-elf and asked for tea for himself and Harry. Almost immediately the elf was back with tea and cakes and Severus sipped his tea before continuing.

"I would go and talk to them whenever I'd start getting stressed out over everything, they were a great help to me. Publicly though, I still had to pretend to hate James, not so much Lily though. Anyway, after we graduated, your parent went publicly against Voldemort so I had to be very careful about going and talking with them. They were careful as well. When you were born Harry, I was there under your father's cloak. I had become such a close part of the family to them in the end that I was blessed to be there even if I was invisible." Severus had a gleam in his eye that Harry had never seen before. "It was amazing Harry, truly amazing." Severus took another sip of his tea as he remembered the events of that day. "Your parents asked me the day you were born if I would be willing to betroth myself to you. I agreed, I only wanted to take care of you. The night your parents died tore me apart. I hated that they died and you didn't. I didn't hate you for it, but I thought they'd wasted their lives. They had so much promise. Not that you didn't and don't." Severus took a deep breath to clam himself this was more difficult then he wanted it to be. "I wanted to take you in that night, I tried too, as did Minerva, but Albus would hear nothing of it. He thought the muggles would be best for you. He was obviously wrong. I am so sorry you had to grow up like that Harry, I'd have taken you from there had I known it was that bad. I had thought for sure they wouldn't treat you that badly, since you were Petunia's last blood relative besides her own son." Severus spoke with conviction and Harry had no choice but to forgive the man in front of him. Harry smiled at the older man softly.

"Of course I forgive you Severus. It was obviously out of your hands. Thank you for being honest with me about this, it still seems weird though, all this time, everyone told me you and my parents hated each other. I'm sure you can understand how this sounds now." Harry said softly. "I wished I had been anywhere but with the Dursley's as well." Harry sipped at his tea. Harry got up and sat down next to Severus and cuddled into his side. They had recently taken to cuddling together on occasions, but those were few and far between.

Severus had told Harry about how he'd been turned off to sex and couldn't even think about it without wanting to throw up, Harry was currently at the same point since his rape was still so fresh in his mind.

When Christmas arrived, the two were closer then ever. Harry was quite mature for his age most of the time, but still had a juvenile steak that liked to appear every once in awhile. Severus and Harry had taken to occasionally playing pranks on each other, never to hurt, only to change color or sprout bunny ears. They'd laughed for hours one night when Harry had gotten Severus quite well. Harry had set a trap right outside the older man's rooms and when triggered it turned Severus' hair rainbow colored. 

Christmas morning came and Harry had gifts from Sirius, Severus, Remus, Albus and Dobby. Harry had bought gifts during one of the few shopping trips to Diagon Alley with Severus. Harry and Severus had agreed that Harry would pay back the Potions master half the sum of the initial sets of clothing during school and the other half after Harry graduated. Harry treasured all the gifts he received. He did however look heartbroken when he hadn't received anything from Mrs. Weasley. That had been a low blow. He hadn't done anything and yet the entire Weasley family had blamed him for Ron's fate. Harry had testified at the trial under Veritaserum and a charm that projected his memory of the night into a hologram type scene. Everyone watched in horror as the scene was replayed right in front of their eyes. Every since then Harry had, had no contact with any of the Weasley's, since Ron and Seamus were both ordered to receive the Dementor's Kiss and Neville received a ten-year vacation to Azkaban for his involvement. 

Severus held Harry while he cried most of Christmas day. He totally understood the heartbreak. Harry was at least not suicidal anymore, he knew now life could be good. Harry was still far from happy though. Severus' goal was to get him back to happy, it would come with time, and Severus had a keen understanding of that and would work with it.

The winter passed into spring and Harry threw himself into his studies for his N.E.W.T.'s. He planned to do as well as he could so he would have a wide choice in career fields upon graduation. Harry was already scheduled to take his exams a week before the rest of the seventh year's.

The week set aside for Harry's exams Dumbledore was going to stay at the Manor with Harry and Severus while he tested. This way he could also spend some much needed time with Harry. He'd found out through Severus he had some major humble pie to eat, and he ate every bite of it too.

Harry took his exams and passed them all with extraordinarily high grades. When graduation came around Harry was top of the class. He'd found out through Dumbledore he's topped his mother's N.E.W.T.'s in Charms and his father's scores for Transfiguration. Everyone still on speaking terms with Harry was impressed with his accomplishment. He was offered many jobs from many places but was still unsure of what he wanted to do with his life. So while he pondered he helped Severus out with his potions. He then decided he wanted to be a Potions Master as well. It was quite relaxing most of the time and he got to spend time with Severus, he also felt productive when he was making potions.

Three weeks before Harry's birthday Severus and Harry were arguing, which wasn't unusual for them, both being strong-willed people. Harry it seemed, decided to rearrange Severus potions ingredients again, and without telling Severus he was going to do so.

"Severus there is an easy solution to this problem, I'm surprised between the two of us we haven't come up with it yet." Harry seethed, he hated arguing and when living in close quarters with someone it got annoying. Severus nodded and waited to hear Harry's brilliant plan. Anything would been better then fighting with Harry. "We get another set of shelves in here for my ingredients; that way you have yours the way you like and I can have mine the way I like with minimal problems, what do you think?" Harry finished thoughtfully, looking around the room trying to plan out where to place the shelves, it was a logical solution so he knew Severus would go along with it. Severus nodded his acquiescence to the situation and a new set of shelves was brought in the next day.

As Harry's birthday grew closer the pair grew jittery around each other. The wedding was coming and neither was sure of where they stood. They had decided one week before the day that they should both sit down and question each other, with Veritaserum. Once it was administered, each doing the other, they sat down; they had given each other enough to last for twenty-four hours.

Harry began, as agreed to before they started.

"Do you want to go through with the terms of the contract of betrothal?" Harry knew he had to word things carefully for Severus had signed many contracts.

"Yes I do," Severus answered under the effects of the potion. "Do you want to go through with the terms of the contract?" Severus didn't have to be as careful with his wording since Harry only had the betrothal contract attached to him.

"Yes, I do," came the reply. "Why do you want to go through with this?" Harry asked

"Because I am falling in love with you." Severus eyes widened in shock at his response. "Why do you want to go through with this?"

  


"Because I need someone in my life no matter who it is, although I am beginning to fall in love with you as well. I'm afraid to be alone. I don't want to be alone." Harry finished and took a deep breath before asking his next question. "When we get married, will you want to consummate our relationship?" Harry's voice wavered, they had agreed to ask this question before hand, but Harry still blushed like the virgin he was before his rape.

"No, I will not." Severus answered with a regretful tone. "I think neither of us is ready for that yet; we will eventually I hope but not yet, maybe not for another couple of years. Will you want to consummate the relationship?"

  


"No, I will not. I agree with you that we are not ready for that, and the rape is still in the forefront of my mind," Harry answered looking down ashamed of himself. He had thought himself dirty since the rape, he'd been told it's a typical feeling for a rape survivor but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. Harry voiced his opinions about it many times but now under the potion, he'd get a truthful answer for certain. "Why do you want someone so dirty, they dirtied me when they did that to me?" Harry was crying, he'd gotten over most of it, but it still upset him at times. Severus went over to Harry's chair and kneeled before the young man and grabbed Harry's hands tightly within his own.

"You, Harry James Potter, have not been dirtied by anyone. What happened was a terrible thing, and should have never happened. I will not have you saying you're dirty when you are still a pure soul. You always have been and you always will be. You are a beautiful person Harry both inside and out. I am honored that you are going through with the marriage regardless of everything you have been through. You are such a strong person, and it's amazing." Severus looked at Harry with a blooming love in his eyes. "I do love you Harry, I have loved you since the day you were born, I am falling in love with you Harry, slowly but surely I am. I am blessed to have you in my life and I am blessed that we will be together until one or both of us dies at least." Severus' eyes glistened with unshed tears and that just proved to Harry all the most that over the potion Severus' feelings were true. Harry's eyes glistened as well.

"Thank you, Severus" Harry whispered to the older man before placing a hand gently on his cheek and leaning in slowly to kiss the man he was falling in love with. Harry's lips fell on Severus' gently and hesitantly. He was unsure of Severus' reaction to such affection. Severus acted all right, he reached up and pulled Harry down from the chair and into his lap on the floor and buried his hands in Harry's hair deepening the kiss. Harry moaned softly at the passion contained in this small contact. Severus was soon running his tongue along Harry's lips silently begging for entrance to deepen the kiss even further. Harry opened hesitantly, he'd never kissed anyone before so he was uncertain of what to do. It felt heavenly when Severus' tongue gradually made its way into Harry's mouth to map it out gently. Severus was very quickly addicted to the taste of Harry's mouth; it tasted like the purest of winter days, if that even had a taste. It was clean and clear and crisp and innocent; it was wonderful. Severus was also uncertain since it had been almost twenty years since he'd kissed anyone, so in a sense it was his first kiss as well. Harry very slowly moved his tongue against Severus', unsure of if it was the right thing to do. When he heard a soft moan from the other man he stiffened slightly ready to pull away if it had been wrong. Severus tightened his grip on Harry to let him know that was a good sound not a bad one. Harry and Severus' tongues did a sensual dance together and both were enjoying the kiss when Severus slowly drew his tongue away from Harry's to draw him into his own mouth to map and explore. Harry's tongue followed slowly, being very unsure of himself. Soon he was getting the idea and was really into the kiss. All too soon for both of them they had to break the kiss because the need for air was more important.

"Wow," Harry panted out, both he and Severus were panting trying to catch their breath. Neither one was affected physically other then the panting. "I love you Severus, even if I am not yet in love with you. I would be honored to marry on my birthday," Harry breathed out looking deeply into Severus onyx colored orbs. Severus smiled softly at the shorter man on his lap.

"I too would be honored to marry you as well Harry. I love you Harry," Severus replied as he kissed the young man that would soon be his husband.

The night they married, all they did was cuddle and kiss each other and fall asleep in each others arms. Harry would be all right and so would Severus, as long as they had each other they could make it.

  



End file.
